"bunch of crazy white people... "

1. The Cure, "High"

2006-07-08T18:30:00.000-07:00

April 11 - May 8, 1992

Esoteric choice, perhaps, but this pretty lil' morsel aw-shucked its way past the competition - I simply couldn't pretend that I'd rather hear any other song on the list more (though "Just Like Heaven," which hit before the chart began, as well as over 25 modern rock non-#1 hits from '88 on, would have topped it). Fat Bob mewling multi-tracked euphoria over glistening arpeggios, gurgling his orgasmic vagina metaphors all Carrollesque, thanking God that he's still getting some despite himself. Giggly, glowing sexual gratitude from an alleged mopemeister is a fittingly contradictory high point (no pun intended) for a list of the most popular weirdos in rock.

and when i see you kitten as a cat
yeah as smitten as that
i can't get that small
the way you fur
the how you purr
it makes me want to paw you all

2. Linkin Park, "In The End"

2006-07-05T06:10:00.000-07:00

December 22, 2001 - January 25, 2002

Synthetically combining Depeche Mode and Alice Cooper with hip-hop in order to create the ultimate in adolescent catharsis, winding up with America's biggest selling album of 2001. No rock band has achieved such a rank since (the last before them were Hootie & The Blowfish), and I wouldn't be surprised if they wind up the last.

One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
to remind myself how I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so far

3. Crazytown, "Butterfly"

2006-07-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

February 17 - March 2, 2001

Modern rock sucks! The Red Hot Chili Peppers keep topping this ridiculous, blase countdown with increasingly grandiose ruminations, and yet the son of an industry weasel, blessed with an ungodly amount of body modifications and a fondness for being called "Shifty Shellshock," can sample one of their guitarist's stray noodles, recite a rap about his lady love, and instantly beat 20 years of musically skilled (so I hear) melodofunkrock stylings from the once and future champions of the scene. Harsh proof that modern rock is lamer than Vanilla Ice on Valentine's Day. End the fucking thing already.

You filled that empty space with the love I used to chase
And as far as I can see, it don't get better than this
So butterfly, here is a song and it's sealed with a kiss
And a thank you, miss

4. Hoobastank, "The Reason"

2006-07-05T05:59:00.000-07:00

April 17-23, 2004

The circular riffs are set atop a evenly spaced chord progression, building in volume with a mathematical precision; if songs have shape, this one is a pyramid. Singer Doug Robb gives the track necessary humanity with his earnest, open whimpering over his regrets and newfound strength, but he sacrifices grammar (you can't change who you used to be, you can only change who you are) to keep the structure as exact as possible. People frequently use "pure pop" as a compliment for music that sounds neither like Cole Porter or any other vintage of extremely popular music. If this blockbuster weeper - the kind of manufactured miracle that outlives its mortal makers and self-conscious music fans resist until time provides the necessary distance and kitsch (maybe it will soundtrack a key scene in the Boogie Nights of 2023) - doesn't earn the term more than anything by the New Pornographers, it's definitely "pure power ballad."

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

5. Green Day, "Basket Case"

2006-07-05T05:57:00.000-07:00

August 20 - September 23, 1994

A three minute sear about feeling fucked in the head that sets a stadium off better than "Born To Run." Punk: whatever doesn't kill rock only makes it stronger.

Do you have the time
To listen to me whine
About nothing and everything
All at once
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it

6. P.O.D., "Youth Of The Nation"

2006-07-05T05:53:00.000-07:00

March 30 - April 12, 2002

Opens with schoolyard chatter, followed by what could be a sample from the Cure's Pornography and a rapped verse from a parent-loving skate-rat who sympathizes with the kid that shot him in school today. Several harrowing anecdotes later, Pink Floyd's children choir shows up to join the band in a "row your boat" round of the chorus. If you're cynical enough about adolescence in America to find this trite and unaffecting, good for you.

Who's to blame for the life that tragedies claim?
No matter what you say it won't take away the pain
That I feel inside, I'm tired of all the lies
Don't nobody know why
It's the blind leadin' the blind

7. Better Than Ezra, "Good"

2006-07-05T05:46:00.000-07:00

April 29 - June 2, 1995

By the time Charles Thompson was ready to write a bittersweet break-up ode, he'd lost the fresh, jagged energy that made the Pixies such a worthwhile template for the bands that followed. He also had stopped making funny sounds with his mouth. One of those defiantly joyful songs that sound as perfect between innings as it does on a cathartic late night drive.

Well, maybe I'll call or write you a letter.
Now, maybe we'll see on the Fourth of July.
But I'm not too sure, and I'm not too proud.
Well, I'm not too sure and I'm not too proud to say...

8. Evanescence feat. Paul McCoy, "Bring Me To Life"

2006-07-04T18:13:00.000-07:00

March 28 - April 16, 2003

"I wanted to make sure everyone knows that I do not have any music in 'The Chronicles Of Narnia'. I did write music for it, that I love very much, but it was rejected for the movie because it was 'too dark' and 'too epic.' My darlings, if I can't write dark, epic music, I can't live." - Amy Lee, on the band's message board.

how can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb
without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home

9. Nirvana, "All Apologies"

2006-07-04T05:02:00.000-07:00

January 22 - February 4, 1994

Half-formed (he should be saying "I'll proceed from shame") and already disintegrating (he isn't going to proceed from anything), swinging from casual epiphanies to nonsensically grandiose make-it-rhymes, attempting to wrangle an anthem out of his contradictory emotions but shrugging off of the fine tuning; he knows there's enough drama on tape to beat the competition.

I wish I was like you
Easily amused
Find my nest of salt
Everything is my fault
I'll take all the blame
Aqua seafoam shame
Sunburn with freezerburn
Choking on the ashes of her enemy

10. U2, "One"

2006-07-03T20:02:00.000-07:00

April 4-10, 1992

Nothing makes me worry about my sanity more than my inability think about Bono without noting all the signs that, if there is an antichrist in the world today, he's it (and the former Paul Hewson's PARENTS called him "the antichrist" when he was a kid, so don't accuse me of viciousness). Most of the parallels are clear after viewing The Omega Code (starring Michael York as a glad-handling, camera-hogging philanthropist who declares himself our new messiah after ending world hunger), but there's also the fact that U2's greatest songs collectively tell the story of Lucifer and his fall from grace. He was God's most faithful ("I Will Follow") and most powerful warrior ("Sunday, Bloody Sunday"), until he began to indulge in the sin of pride (in the name of love), finally deciding that he couldn't live with or without God ("you give it all but I want more...she's got me with nothing to win, and nothing left to lose"). His dissatisfaction with God's love ("I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For") eventually led to a climactic battle in which he's cast out of heaven ("Bullet In The Blue Sky").

"One" represents Lucifer's final rebuke to God. He's begun to accept his new role ("Will it make it easier on you now you've got someone to blame?"), but remains resentful about the lack of compensation he's received for his efforts ("You act like you never had love, and you want me to go without"). He's seething, bitter, spiteful ("Did I ask too much? More than a lot? You gave me nothing, now its all I got"), but also pained and desperate to be understood. His screams for recognition unanswered, he abandons the quest and identifies himself with the rest of God's subjects ("One life with each other - sisters, brothers"), in hopes of gaining a flock of his own. It's Paradise Lost in the shape of a power ballad, and nobody in rock is more qualified to give it voice.

You say "love is a temple,
Love a higher law.
Love is a temple,
Love: the higher law."
You ask me to enter,
But then you make me crawl.
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

11. Linkin Park, "Faint"

2006-07-03T06:09:00.000-07:00

August 9 - September 19, 2003

Simon Reynolds, a former SPIN editor who pushed the electronica lie top-down in the nineties, wrote a piece a year or so ago questioning why the revolution failed, based on the lack of interest in the U.S. for recent Fatboy Slim. Fact is, rather than settle for an IV of Amp comps, gradually accepting Paul Oakenfold in his pure state, America incorporated the ChemBros/Prodigy techniques they liked into rap and rock, accepting the musical & technological advancements, if not the idea that gawky trancemasters should be superstars (though you can't say we didn't give Moby a chance). Linkin's teary-eyed and pro-tooled kung fu chop for a parent's attention would be unthinkable if not for Fat Of The Land (or at least the Spawn soundtrack), and its acceptance and popularity in the rock world is one of the few positive signs of evolution angry young men have offered in recent years.

I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
'Cause you don't understand
I do what I can, sometimes I don't make sense
I am what you never wanna say
But I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you for once just to hear me out

12. The B-52's, "Love Shack"

2006-07-02T14:57:00.000-07:00

September 16 - October 7, 1989

Despite my raised-in-the-'80s bias, I can see how Rocks beats Pump and why Every Picture Tells A Story smokes Out Of Order. And yet I prefer Cosmic Thing to The B-52's. As much as I can appreciate the naive-surf drive of Ricky Wilson, their 1989 breakthrough is a more varied, and more consistent pop hook waterfall. Less unique, perhaps, but it's not like anything featuring Fred Schneider could sound commonplace. "Love Shack," the primest of examples, is one of those fucking amazing songs that almost sacrifices any chance of being called fucking amazing because everybody on earth knows it. Like "YMCA" and "Louie Louie," it sells illicit hedonism to small children and geriatrics alike by presenting it at its most benignly infectious.

I got me a car, it's as big as a whale
and we're headin' on down to the Love Shack!
I got me a Chrysler, it seats about twenty
So hurry up and bring your jukebox money!

13. Hole, "Celebrity Skin"

2006-06-23T09:02:00.000-07:00

October 10-30 & November 7-13, 1998

She tried! Oh LORD, how she tried! She got one album out between the crises, fighting in vain to rescue female-led arena rock from Lilith-hood. Great singles! Great look! Great interviews! Unfortunately folks decided that she wasn't as exciting and noteworthy as an Ooky-Spooky Sex Monster and Rap's Great White Hope. We failed her, you know.

When I wake up in my makeup
Have you ever felt so used up as this?
It's all so sugarless
Hooker/waitress
Model/actress
Oh, just go nameless

14. New Order, "Regret"

2006-06-23T08:59:00.000-07:00

May 1-14 & May 22 - June 17, 1993

Rather than try to parse the lyrical content, I'm just going to assume that the beauty of the music has yet again sent Bernard into blithering incoherency, as it so often does to their fans ("then Peter does his treble thing and then the guitar comes in and the drums start up and...").

Maybe I've forgotten the name and the address
Of everyone I've ever known
It's nothing I regret
Save it for another day
It's the school exam and the kids have run away

15. Live, "Lakini's Juice"

2006-06-23T08:56:00.000-07:00

March 1-7, 1997

Ed Kowalcyk gets all het up about some Eastern fertility goddess (I think!) and repeatedly shrieks "LEEEET MEEEE RIIIIIIDE" over a particularly vicious rewrite of "Kashmir!" Creepy! Arty! Intensely melodramatic about something his fans don't understand, helping Pearl Jam and the Beastie Boys accidentally create an audience for Creed out of confused monotheistic fans of yarl rock! Now THAT'S how you kill the goose!

inside the outside, by the river, used to be so calm
used to be so sane
I rushed the lady's room
took the water from the toilet
washed her feet and blessed her name

16. Puddle Of Mudd, "Blurry"

2006-06-19T17:41:00.000-07:00

January 26 - March 29, 2002

Nirvana didn't sell eight million copies because they covered the Vaselines; Kurt Cobain was an angry, girl-obsessed rocker from a small town with a knack for hooks, taking bad-vibes metal to new levels of artistic and commercial stature. Wes Scantlin may never have gotten hung up on a member of Bikini Kill, but he's definitely a grumpy, vulnerable metalhead who writes pop songs about how he's losing his shit. At his best, he's guilty of neither mushmouth poetics nor dreams of cock-rock triumph, leaving us with a very affecting if unflattering portrait of confusion, anger and paranoia. Label prez/video director/renaissance man Fred Durst, genius he is, tempered the clip for this weeping seether (you dumped me but only you could set me free *sob* AIEEE!!) by showing Wes as one heck of a weekend dad.

Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

17. Sublime, "What I Got"

2006-06-19T17:33:00.000-07:00

October 26 - November 15, 1996

Why would you wanna hate on this, man? What kind of buzzkill are you? So what if that solo ain't much of a ry-ott? Just chill, alright? Don't hate. Have another. Relax.

I don't cry when my dog runs away
I don't get angry at the bills I have to pay
I don't get angry when my Mom smokes pot
Hits the bottle and goes right to the rock
Fuckin' and fightin', it's all the same
Livin' with Louie dog's the only way to stay sane
Let the lovin', let the lovin' come back to me

18. Smashing Pumpkins, "1979"

2006-06-19T17:26:00.000-07:00

March 2-8, 1996

Made me nostalgiac for stolen moments of misbegotten youth before I'd really had any or knew for sure what the lyrics were. The video helped, I'll admit, but that metronomic "Dancing In The Dark" uplift works fine on its own.

We don't even care to shake these zipper blues
And we don't know just where our bones will rest
To dust, I guess
Forgotten and absorbed into the earth below

19. Jimmy Eat World, "The Middle"

2006-06-19T17:23:00.000-07:00

April 13 - May 10, 2002

It's mildly comforting that, to be really successful, a mall-emo band has to drop a single that's worthy of Rick Springfield (this one's even "Jessie's Girl" good!). Some of those album chart debuts might make you think there are no requirements at all, but opening week sales are deceiving.

Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.

20. The Offspring, "Hit That"

2006-06-19T17:14:00.000-07:00

February 14-20, 2004

Goofy dads, morning zoo DJs and prepubescent Weird Al fans of all ages thank you for your trenchant social commentary and exuberant disco-metal, Dexter.

He's sayin' "I´m on a roll
With all the girls I know"
His baby mama
She aint so slow
He's sayin' "Now I´m on a roll
With all the girls I know"
I know you wanna hit that
I know you wanna hit that, hit that

21. Oasis, "Wonderwall"

2006-06-19T17:09:00.000-07:00

December 30, 1995 - March 1, 1996 & March 9-15, 1996

Obsessive fanboy desperately wants to let his moping girlfriend know how much she means to him, but he's not the emotionally open type; he can only declare his affection if he ties it to a Beatle reference. When Liam's boredom with the hit threatened to remove the song's emotional weight (the only time their rock trivia Tourette's has ever had any), Noel took it back.

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I dont know how

22. Nirvana, "Heart-Shaped Box"

2006-06-19T06:10:00.000-07:00

October 16 - November 5, 1993

Revealed how metal plods about being stuck with a devil woman could be artistically impressive, setting the stage for countless sexist post-grunge moans almost entirely devoid of redemptive boogie. See, John Lydon? Being a destructive force in rock isn't necessarily a good thing.

Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet
Cut myself on angels hair and baby's breath
Broken hymen of your highness I'm left black
Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

23. Depeche Mode, "Enjoy The Silence"

2006-06-18T18:54:00.000-07:00

April 21 - May 11, 1990

I reserve the right to erase these blogs, buy a darker, leather-based wardrobe, and spend my non-working hours playing not but the finest dream-pop and mall-techno. To take roadtrips to faraway hillsides, bringing nothing but sunglasses, a boombox and the original cassingle for this track, which I will have purchased on eBay. If only I could abandon routine, security and the self-conscious pretenses of logic and reason, in search of the all-encompassing beauty that songs like this let us taste - The Apotheosis.

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

24. Blink-182, "I Miss You"

2006-06-18T10:15:00.000-07:00

April 3-16, 2004

Verse lyrics don't have to cohere as long as a few key phrases on the track resonate. A well-placed "we'll have Halloween on Christmas" or "stop this pain tonight" joined by a recurring "I miss you" can help you get away with a "like indecision to call you and hear your voice of treason" or an inexplicably cockneyfied reference to "moy ed." If you're lucky, these indulgent peculiarities might distract listeners as the keyb-string swells, xylophone plinks and sentimental cliches wedge into their guts.

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time

25. XTC, "Ballad Of Peter Pumpkinhead"

2006-06-17T23:40:00.000-07:00

May 30 - June 12, 1992

They make being a messianic martyr sound so easy. Oliver Stone LITERALLY bawls his head off whenever he hears it, back and to the left. Back...and to the left.

Peter Pumpkinhead was too good
Had him nailed to a chunk of wood
He died grinning on live TV
Hanging there he looked a lot like you
And an awful lot like me!

26. Offspring, "Come Out And Play"

2006-06-17T06:32:00.000-07:00

September 30 - August 6, 1994

It was God's way of celebrating the 10th anniversary of the Repo Man soundtrack.

It goes down the same as the thousand before
No one's getting smarter
No one's learning the score
Your never ending spree of death and violence and hate
Is gonna tie your own rope
Tie your own rope
Tie your own

27. Lit, "My Own Worst Enemy"

2006-06-16T13:45:00.000-07:00

April 10 - June 25, 1999

I'm deeply grateful for tales of hungover regret that sound nothing like Tom Waits.

Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard
And I'm sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night
And you're gone

28. Presidents Of The United States Of America, "Lump"

2006-06-11T09:33:00.000-07:00

October 21-27, 1995

Part of Weird Al's problem after "Smells Like Nirvana" was that he was releasing parodies that were actually less ridiculous than the originals. With "Lump" and "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)," he even picked songs that could be mistaken for him. This was an aesthetic mistake almost as crippling as the loss of his accordion.

Lump sat alone in a boggy marsh,
totally emotionless except for her heart
Mud flowed up into Lump's pajamas
she totally confused all the passing pihranas

29. R.E.M., "Losing My Religion"

2006-06-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

March 16 - May 10, 1991

I once got clotheslined by one of a gang of my fellow "gifted" students chanting "R.E.M. sucks!" at a party in fifth grade (they were partial to Color Me Badd). I walked around school with the cassingle for this song in my pocket. I yelled at a friend of my mom's who asked who that awful band she saw on SNL was ("they had a mandolin..."). I almost wept with joy when they swept the MTV awards and laughed with conspiratorial glee as Michael Stipe revealed his political t-shirts. To paraphrase Chuck Klosterman, they told me that my perceived outcast status was a sign of my intelligence and sensitivity. At the very least, they were a Led Zep for the codpiece-phobic.

Every whisper
Of every waking hour
I'm choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up

30. Everclear, "Everything To Everyone"

2006-06-11T09:25:00.000-07:00

December 20-26, 1997

A prime example of what makes the alternapop era (basically between Woodstock II and Woodstock III) so beautiful. Post-Cobain Johnny Cougars inspired equally by calls for innovation and commercial appeal to surround their energetic invective with oodles of loops, giving the subject of Art Alexakis' irritation (who may well be himself) a reason to "do that stupid dance." Post-grunge responding to electronica, artists both more eccentric and accessible than those whose cultural breakthrough cleared the slate a few years before - alternapop was the new wave of the 90s!

You say they taught you how to read and write
Yeah, they taught you how to count
I say they taught you how to buy and sell
Your own body by the pound

31. The Wallflowers, "One Headlight"

2006-06-11T09:22:00.000-07:00

March 8 - April 11, 1997

I'd like to thank the Dismemberment Plan's rhythm section for ripping this track off wholesale for "Superpowers," rescuing the groove from Jakob Dylan's ridiculous ash mouth and letting their infinitely more intelligent singer turn a song that's great inspite of itself into one of my all-time favorites ("yeah, yeah, yeah" is "hey, hey, HEYYYY" backwards).

She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed

32. Lemonheads, "Into Your Arms"

2006-06-11T09:18:00.000-07:00

November 6, 1993 - January 7, 1994

When people use phrases like "pure pop," I can't help but think of jackboots and impure popsters being thrown behind barbed wire, so I won't be going there. Especially when Evan looks like he could start belting "Tomorrow Belongs To Me" at any second.

I know a place where I can go, when I’m alone
Into your arms, into your arms I can go
I know a place that’s safe and warm, from the crowds
Into your arms, into your arms I can go

33. Green Day, "Longview"

2006-06-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

June 11-17, 1994

Jerking loud, jerking hard, with a minimum of metaphors. They're lucky Tipper wasn't paying attention.

Bite my lip and close my eyes
Take me away to paradise
I'm so damn bored I'm going blind
And I smell like shit

34. The White Stripes, "Seven Nation Army"

2006-06-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

July 12 - August 1, 2003

Their weirdness is a bit of a falsehood. Led Zeppelin II and Violent Femmes are strong catalog sellers; it's logical bands would profit from an audible influence. What's weird is how few actually show any.

And I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding
Right before the lord
All the words are gonna bleed from me
And I will sing no more
And the stains coming from my blood
Tell me go back home

35. The Verve Pipe, "The Freshmen"

2006-06-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

May 3-23, 1997

"A soggy prowoman morality tale aimed at frat rats, who are urged not to drive girls to suicide by dumping them. When Brian Vander Ark finally emotes the chorus, it's like, I dunno, grunge lives." - Robert Christgau

For the life of me, I can not remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me, I can not believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

36. Bush, "Comedown"

2006-06-11T08:54:00.000-07:00

September 23 - October 6, 1995

Gavin emoting his sweet little head off (I think he's getting dumped) over an increasingly gunky din of post-Pixie guitar. That I took this for offensive carpetbagger nonsense tells me just how much superficial bullshit clogged my adolescent head. That I continue to enjoy hearing a retro-alt ninny spew awful poetry over guitar overdubs reminds me that there's still some cleaning to do.

there's no blame only shame
when you beg you just complain
more I come more I try
all police are paranoid
so am I so's the future
so are you be a creature
what do you say do you do
when it all comes down

37. Modest Mouse, "Float On"

2006-06-06T20:21:00.000-07:00

September 31 - August 6, 2004

An appropriate smash for a time of Talking Heads reissues and Pixies reunions; "Once In A Lifetime" through the mouth of Black Francis and Joey Santiago's echo box, conclusive proof that these 80's eccentricities are now accepted as pop moves.

I backed my car into a cop car the other day
Well he just drove off, sometimes life's ok
I ran my mouth off a bit too much, oh what can i say
Well you just laughed it off, it was all ok

38. Butthole Surfers, "Pepper"

2006-06-06T20:20:00.000-07:00

September 6-26, 1996

Possibly the funniest example of hell freezing over.

I don't mind the sun sometimes
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and sugary
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes

39. Three Doors Down, "Kryptonite"

2006-06-06T20:17:00.000-07:00

May 20 - August 4, 2000

Everybody's gloomy and grey except for the drummer, who won't stop playing the Van Halen diddybop beat, forcing the others to actually throw their weight around, and make their male anxieties shuffle. Sadly, he'd learn to blend in with the earnest slog on subsequent singles.

You called me strong, you called me weak
But your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head,
If not for me then you would be dead
I picked you up and put you back on solid ground

40. Cracker, "Teen Angst (What The World Needs Now)"

2006-06-06T20:10:00.000-07:00

May 8-22, 1992

Bitter from years attempting the musically esoteric and deconstructive or what-the-fuck-ever, David Lowery succeeded in selling out (it was in an ad before being a college-rock band in ads was cool) by celebrating booze and loose women over monochromatic bar rock, admittedly with irony, sardonicism and plaid.

Cause what the world needs now
is a new kind of tension
Cause the old one just bores me to death
Cause what the world needs now
is another folk singer
like I need a hole in my head

41. Third Eye Blind, "Semi-Charmed Life"

2006-06-06T20:04:00.000-07:00

May 24 - June 27 & July 5-25, 1997

I had this whole paragraph planned out, but all I can think about right now is how much it resembles a Ghostface track: eccentric sex memoir about two drug addicts, hooky break, excruciating high notes. Stephan has a better vocal range too! Doesn't always sound like he's crying.

The sky was gold, it was rose
I was taking sips of it to my nose
And I wish I could get back there
Some place back there
Smiling in the pictures you would take
Doing crystal meth will lift you up until you break

42. Nirvana, "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

2006-06-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

November 23-29, 1991

They looked like the scary high school kids smoking across the street from the parking lot as my elementary school bus drove past, folk too awkward for Skid Row to represent. This tether to reality made the song and video seem like a far scarier breed of metal than that created by leather-clad showmen, who were already evolving into acoustic cowboy-balladeers. Catchy enough to make the network, but unpredictable and uncommon (I was pre-pubescent and hadn't heard You're Living All Over Me, ok?). When Rolling Stone revealed that the band wasn't metal at all, I was happy to accept them as fellow bitter nerds. Even those of you who thought it was glossy Bossanova had to find the moment startling.

With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us

43. Red Hot Chili Peppers, "By The Way"

2006-06-06T19:50:00.000-07:00

June 29 - October 4, 2002

Sometimes I like to imagine that Bill Berry stayed in R.E.M. and the band recorded this song, deciding to liven their mid-90s sound with some "Radio Song" funk. Putting some rap-rock in your "pure pop" always makes for a more interesting exprience.

Standing in line to see the show tonight
And theres a light on, heavy glow
By the way I tried to say I'd be there
Waiting for...
Dani the girl is singing songs to me
Beneath the marquee of her soul
By the way I tried to say I'd be there
Waiting for...

44. Soul Asylum, "Somebody To Shove"

2006-06-06T19:34:00.000-07:00

December 5-11, 1992

Brian Krakow is running down the sidewalk with tears in his eyes. He has to tell her how feels! He has to tell her NOW!

Hello, speak up, is there somebody there?
These hang-ups are getting me down
In a world frozen over with over-exposure
Lets talk it over, lets go out and paint the town

45. XTC, "The Mayor Of Simpleton"

2006-06-04T21:53:00.000-07:00

April 1 - May 5, 1989

Sam Cooke's "What A Wonderful World"...with a click track!

Im not proud of the fact that I never learned much,
Just feel I should say,
What you get is all real,
I cant put on an act,
It takes brains to do that anyway.

46. Alien Ant Farm, "Smooth Criminal"

2006-06-04T21:48:00.000-07:00

August 25 - September 21, 2001

A metallized update of a classic tale of horror and anxiety that was #1 both for MJ's 40th birthday extravaganza and the fall of the Twin Towers. Coincidence? Read the book.

Annie, are you OK
Will you tell us that you're OK
There's a sign at the window
That he struck you
A crescendo, Annie

47. U2, "Vertigo"

2006-06-04T21:26:00.000-07:00

November 6 - December 3, 2004

R.E.M. circa Monster with Enrique Iglesias the mic and a firecracker up their collective ass? Lyrics that are intentionally funny? Feverish with dreams of compassionate consumerism, Bono and the boys whipped up a dizzy jam as ridiculous as a forty-something guitarist named "the Edge" who always wears a hat indoors and throws the same damn ringtone lead on every track. The rest of the accompanying album may have been their direst to date, but this frightening trip to the carnivale earns them their presidential photo-op.

The night is full of holes
Those bullets rip the sky
Of ink with gold
They twinkle as the boys play rock and roll
They know that they can't dance
At least they know

48. Blink-182, "All The Small Things"

2006-06-04T09:53:00.001-07:00

December 25, 1999 - February 18, 2000

"I wanted the Sex Pistols to compete with the Bay City Rollers." - Malcolm McLaren
"Can you imagine Johnny Rotten singing 'Shang a Lang'? Heh heh!" - John Lydon

Late night, come home
Work sucks, I know
She left me roses by the stairs
Surprises let me know she cares

49. Goo Goo Dolls, "Slide"

2006-06-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

October 31 - November 6 & November 14-20, 1998

Watered down Westerberg or Westerberg with spine? She's had an abortion, he's got no male role model, but he wants to get hitched, take her down Thunder Road and have really good sex rather than bawl about his dissatisfaction and curse her answering machine. I saw these guys on VH1 Classic the other day and I have to wonder if Johnny Rzeznzik's current botox'n'big-ballad strategy represents the misguised impulses of a provider rather than the usual has-been hackery. According to their Behind The Music, he's got four older sisters and his parents died before he was 16! No wonder he wants to please the ladies.

Don't supposed I'll ever know
What it means to be a man
It's somethin' I can't change
I'll live around it

I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide?

50. Nickelback, "How You Remind Me"

2006-06-02T06:57:00.000-07:00

September 22 - December 21, 2001

They got a great lope going on this breakthrough hit, with Chad swishing his hair, growling about what a dumbass he is. What kills me is that they never went for a catchy, campy groove again, hanging around the pop chart with a series of identical ballads and the unforgivable "Figured You Out," in which commercial success helps Chad realize that he only put up with you because he likes blowjobs, and he can get his "favorite disease" anywhere now. YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! oh no...

It's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do
And it must have been so bad
Cause living with me must have damn near killed you

51. Green Day, "When I Come Around"

2006-06-02T06:28:00.000-07:00

January 17 - February 24, 1995

I'd say that most people don't realize what a passive-aggressive track this is (I took it for an anonymous and mandatory change-of-pace dawdle back when the video was omnipresent), but judging by the current emo crop, a lot of young men who aren't as sensitive as they think they are took this philanderous asshole's love letter to heart. Not that any of theirs hold up as well.

Dont get lonely now
And dry your whining eyes
I'm just roaming for the moment
Sleazin my backyard
So don't get so uptight
You been thinking about ditching me

52. Queens Of The Stone Age, "No One Knows"

2006-06-01T18:29:00.000-07:00

February 8 - March 7, 2003

Combining Hall and Oates with Jethro Tull, mapping vistas in rock that few would dare explore.

I drift along the ocean
Dead lifeboats in the sun
And come undone
Pleasantly caving in
I come undone

53. Nirvana, "You Know You're Right"

2006-06-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

October 26 - November 22, 2002

The paaaaaaiiinnn fits in fine with modern rock radio 2K, but the sound's thinner here - scratching rather than beating - and Kurt's voice has a weak, ugly hurt far beyond the macho, mundane button-pressing most career rockers offer. If the band hadn't helped usher bad-vibes pop-metal into the rock chart, songs like this would probably be considered too arty to promote.

I will move away from here
You won't be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I Always knew it would come to this

54. The Cranberries, "Salvation"

2006-05-30T07:28:00.000-07:00

May 11 - June 7, 1996

They were excruciatingly self-righteous dumbasses by this point, but rarely did they put their simple-minded messages in an aggro two minutes thirty blitz complete with horns and "uh huh huh" breaks. The Osmonds got there first, but more bands should go there.

to all the kids with heroin eyes
don't do it, don't do it
cause it's not not what it seems
no no it's not not
what it seems

55. Fuel, "Hemorrhage (In My Hands)"

2006-05-30T07:22:00.000-07:00

November 4, 2000 - January 26, 2001

If you're offended by the idea of some listmaking critnerd admitting a soft spot for bawling power ballads from douchey commercial rock acts whose sensitivo moments are somewhat suspect, I suggest you leave before things get even uglier. And you "Sister Christian" folks who can dig them only as long as they're safely in the VH1 "what was that about?" ironic nostalgia zone? Eat it.

Oh, hold me now, I feel contagious
Am I the only place that you've left to go?
She cries her life is like
some movie in black and white
dead actors faking lines, over and over and over again she cries

56. Unwritten Law, "Seein' Red"

2006-05-30T07:19:00.000-07:00

May 11 - June 7, 2002

When people see the Unwritten Law t-shirt I got as a radio promo back in college, I usually tell them it's "just a shirt I got for free" without going into how I do love that one power ballad where he sounds like he's all cried out after some rejection, with logic and pride starting to reappear in his mindset. It's not like I'd wear Creed or Nickelback shirts for the vulnerable ballads they've occasionally dropped - their relative anonymity is what got these forgettable festival vets on my chest.

So follow the leader down
And swallow your pride and drown
When there's no place left to go
Maybe that's when you will know

57. Cake, "Never There"

2006-05-28T10:44:00.000-07:00

December 5 - 25, 1998

Is this track too lively to be considered trip-hop? Aside from the tempo, it's very Portishead!

On the phone long, long distance
Always through such strong resistance
First you say youre too busy
I wonder if you even miss me

58. Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Scar Tissue"

2006-05-28T10:36:00.000-07:00

June 26 - October 15, 1999

Re-energized and yet unafraid to show their age, it was actually a great idea to rewrite "Soul To Squeeze."

Soft spoken with a broken jaw
Step outside but not to brawl
Autumn's sweet, we call it fall
I'll make it to the moon if I have to crawl and
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view...

59. Sinead O'Connor, "Nothing Compares 2 U"

2006-05-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

March 31 - April 6, 1989

I'll always wonder if her pop status would have survived the pope nonsense if she had been hawking this song rather than an album of Broadway ballads and standards at the time. But when you hear her improve and take ownership of a Prince song (beforehand, they usually improved and took ownership of you), one can understand why she thought she could get away with an album of Broadway ballads and standards.

I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl u better have fun
No matter what u do
But he's a fool
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u

60. Smashmouth, "Walking On The Sun"

2006-05-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

September 27 - October 31, 1997

An acidic song about the corporate co-option of counterculture in the style of early XTC is so far beyond the obligations of McG-directed Cali soundtrack hacks that most people weren't even aware that's what this was.

So don't sit back, kick back and watch the world get bushwhacked
News at 10:00 your neighborhood is under attack
Put away the crack before the crack puts you away
You need to be there when your baby's old enough to relate

61. Gin Blossoms, "Found Out About You"

2006-05-24T16:40:00.000-07:00

January 15-21, 1994

I may be overrating this due to "Hey Jealousy"'s absence from the list, but despite Robin Wilson's failure to deliver would-be-Westerberg-wound-up-Stinson Doug Hopkins' lyric with any bite whatsoever, they achieve enough hook & harmony to compensate. Post-R.E.M. state of the middle of the road.

Whispers at the bus stop
I heard about
nights out in the school yard
I found out about you
I found out about you

62. Morrissey, "The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get"

2006-05-24T16:37:00.000-07:00

April 2 - May 20, 1994

For someone whose lyrical content has been so thoroughly dissected, the best Morrissey songs contain lots of gratuitous sighs, la's, ahhhh's, and scatting. A good tune drove the bitter egomaniac to nonsensical reverie, proving his claims of a bumbling desire for love. It's a humanizing quality sorely lacking in his recent material, making fluff like this even more precious in hindsight.

I am now
a central part
of your mind's landscape
whether you care
or do not
yeah, I've made up your mind

63. Bush, "Swallowed"

2006-05-24T16:31:00.000-07:00

November 16, 1996 - January 3, 1997

We could complain about bands like Pavement and Bush swiping sonic templates and mainstreaming the songwriting, or we could thank them for writing the sappy power ballads the Swell Maps and Pixies respectively failed to include on A Trip To Marineville and Surfer Rosa. When someone waters down another artist's innovations we get to have our cake and eat it too.

Piss on self-esteem
Forward Busted knee
Sick head
Blackened lungs
And I'm a simple selfish son

64. Beck, "Loser"

2006-05-23T07:35:00.000-07:00

February 5 - March 11, 1994

It's hard to associate the sardonic enunciation here with the bland somnabulist of today. I can tell why some people thought the verbal smirks signified a new Dylan, but it's now obvious this assumed cynic was just nervous about his musical appropriations, something he'd sadly outgrow.

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Butane in my veins and I’m out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray-paint the vegetables
Dog food skulls with the beefcake pantyhose

65. Sugar Ray, "Every Morning"

2006-05-23T07:32:00.000-07:00

February 2-26 & March 3 - April 9, 1999

If I was Greil Marcus I'd say this track is the link between Michael Penn's "No Myth" and Trick Daddy's "Sugar (Gimme Some)." Hell, I'll say it anyway!

Something's got me reeling
Stopped me from believing
Turn me around again
Said that we can do it
You know I wanna do it again

66. Mighty Mighty Bosstones, "The Impression That I Get"

2006-05-23T07:28:00.000-07:00

June 28 - July 4, 1997

I remember catching a two-tone suited, pre-TRL Carson Daly hosting a "Skaturday" special at the MTV Beach House the summer this broke. I'd like to think that Carson sings along to this if it comes on the radio, but he's probably not that cool. Maybe he feels like he's known real struggle and can't relate to the band's giddy humility. Maybe, on his downtime, he just listens to Prince Buster.

I'm not a coward,
I've just never been tested
I'd like to think that if I was,
I would pass
Look at the tested and think there but for the grace go I
Might be a coward,
I'm afraid of what I might find out

67. Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Give It Away"

2006-05-22T20:47:00.000-07:00

October 26 - November 8, 1991

By the time this video came out, the cynicism of grunge was afoot and I was outgrowing Batdances (I didn't realize I'd put three together when I made the list, I swear). Lyrically, this may be the concept's apex, a naked treatise on the merits of open sexuality, communal bonding, antimaterialism and Bob Marley, setting the stage for a great four years at college (if only I had been listening!). What they'd like is they'd like to hug and kiss you, and everyone can enjoy that.

I'm a low brow but I rock a little know how
No time for the piggies or the hoosegow
Get smart get down with the pow wow
Never been a better time than right now

68. Jane's Addiction, "Been Caught Stealing"

2006-05-22T20:40:00.000-07:00

October 27 - November 2 & November 22 - December 16, 1990

Jane's never grabbed me when I could have been there (and you had to be there, man), but I'll always grant them these three plus minutes of dogs barking, diddlybop and casual anarchy (see previous post re: Batdances).

She walk right through the door.
Walk right through the door.
Hey all right! If I get by, it's mine.
Mine all mine!

69. R.E.M., "Stand"

2006-05-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

January 28 - February 10, 1988

In hindsight, for this excessively literate child of the late 80s, nerdy, kid-friendly videos led to new wave/college rock, which led to reading glowing reviews of new wave/college rock, which led to classier reasons to like new wave/college rock, which led to buying the alt-canon whole hog, which led to forgetting that at one point I thought the multi-culti dancers getting down to the wah-wah solo were R.E.M. - a gawkier Hooray For Everything. It wasn't the spirit of The Velvet Underground that first brought me to the scene, it was a variety of Batdances.

If wishes were trees, the trees would be falling
Listen to reason
Reason is calling
Your feet are going to be on the ground
Your head is there to move you around

70. Primitive Radio Gods, "Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand"

2006-05-22T09:53:00.000-07:00

July 27 - September 6, 1996

No image signifies "the 90s" for me more than this cover. Song's pretty damn 90s too.

Am I alive or thoughts that drift away?
Does summer come for everyone?
Can humans do as prophets say?
And if I die before I learn to speak
Can money pay for all the days I lived awake
But half asleep?

71. Belly, "Feed The Tree"

2006-05-22T09:23:00.000-07:00

March 6-26, 1993

A gothically poetic plea for respect that actually rocks! A Throwing Muses spin-off nominated for the Best New Artist at the Grammys! Lilith Fair may have been more commercially pronounced, but it's this slightly earlier moment in feminist pop-rock, the Kennedy years, that I'm actually nostalgiac for.

This little squirrel I used to be
Slammed her bike down the stairs.
They put silver where her teeth had been.
Baby silvertooth, she grins and grins.

72. U2, "The Fly"

2006-05-21T19:05:00.000-07:00

November 9-22, 1991

I think I only caught this once or twice on MTV when it was released - "Mysterious Ways" quickly replaced it as the single of choice - but even with my less defined concept of U2, I was weirded out. I can't imagine what the Mekons and beyond thought of "The Fly" (not to mention The Fly) when it was first unleashed upon us. Whatever the good intentions may have been, the consequences of this media onslaught and accepted paradigm shift were hideous: ad execs got help associating techno with cars, 90s arena bands who didn't want to self-nullify like Pearl Jam instead approached sex and grandeur through irony (not as fun as we hoped - e.g. Ed Kowalcyzk in feather boa, Monster), and the Pixies broke up quicker than they might have otherwise. Despite the crimes at their feet, the song remains one of the strongest of their grody dance numbers, with Bono insinuating his biblical bull into the groove rather than wailing above it. Determined to seduce and forced to obscure their manifest destiny, they offered more of an aural excuse for their existence in 1991 than they ever have before or since.

A man will beg
A man will crawl
On the sheer face of love
Like a fly on a wall
It's no secret at all

73. Alanis Morissette, "Ironic"

2006-05-19T12:24:00.000-07:00

March 16 - April 5, 1996

I stopped caring that she misused the word "ironic" when I realized she was trying to find a way to say "life's not fair" without whining.

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures

74. Nine Inch Nails, "Only"

2006-05-19T12:22:00.000-07:00

October 22 - November 25 & December 10-23, 2005

Why can't Trent work out his psychological issues over a "New Sensation" beat more often?

I'm becoming less defined as days go by
Fading away
And well you might say
I'm losing focus
Kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself

75. Nirvana, "About A Girl (Live - MTV Unplugged)"

2006-05-19T12:16:00.000-07:00

December 10-16, 1994

How come nobody talks about Dave Grohl's brisk brushwork, which helps give the song a drive that most unplugged performances tend to lack? Oh right, forgot.

I need an easy friend
I do, With an ear to lend
I do, Think you fit this shoe
I do, Won't you have a clue

76. Linkin Park, "Breaking The Habit"

2006-05-17T10:07:00.000-07:00

August 28 - September 24, 2004

I love how just when the hipoisie finds a novel vibe, the mainstream almost telepathically notices and does it one better. Piling on the laptop bleeps'n'creeps and risking some high crooning without losing the intense thrust of their "I wanna grow up already!" aesthetic, they hit great heights that the Postal Service hasn't the energy the achieve.

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

77. Pearl Jam, "Daughter"

2006-05-17T10:04:00.000-07:00

January 8-14, 1994

Makes me think about Darlene Conner.

don't call me daughter, not fit to
the picture kept will remind me
don't call me daughter, not fit to
the picture kept will remind me
don't call me...
she holds the hand that holds her down
she will...rise above...

78. Everlast, "What It's Like"

2006-05-17T09:54:00.000-07:00

December 28, 1998 - February 19, 1999 & February 27 - March 5, 1999

People have a tendency to only include the harder side of rap-rock when they think of the late 90s. When the dude who spat "Shamrocks & Shenanigans" shows up strumming a guitar over a drum loop and singing a pro-choice plea for empathy, that's rap-rock too.

Ive seen the good side of bad
And the downside of up
And everything between
I licked the silver spoon
Drank from the golden cup
And smoked the finest green
I stroked the fattest dimes at least a couple of times
Before I broke their heart
You know where it ends, yo, it usually depends on where you start

79. Faith No More, "Midlife Crisis"

2006-05-17T09:51:00.000-07:00

August 8-14, 1992

So you've got this avant-garde vocal impressionist, Ozzy's drummer, a grindcore bassist, a competitive pumpkin farmer who appeared in Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey and the leader of Imperial Teen on pomp-keybs and together they whipped up some proto-Korn, this being one of their grandest and catchiest tunes. California just weirds me out.

You're perfect, yes, it's true
But without me you're only you
Your menstruating heart
It ain't bleedin' enough for two
It's a midlife crisis...

80. Alanis Morissette, "You Oughta Know"

2006-05-14T08:03:00.000-07:00

July 22 - August 25, 1995

Alanis: Hello, my name is Alanis Morissette. You killed my innocence: prepare to die.
Dave Coulier: Stop saying that!
Alanis: My NAME is ALANIS MORISSETTE. YOU KILLED MY INNOCENCE: PREPARE TO DIE!

Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it?

81. The Cure, "Friday I'm In Love"

2006-05-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

June 13 - July 10, 1992

Thank god the music's gorgeous and the song climaxes with the blathery euphoria printed below, because Monday I'm a big boo boo Tuesday Wednesday oh poo poo Thursday blingy moo moo too it's Friday I realize how fucking annoying the verses are.

Always take a big bite
It's such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It's friday I'm in love

82. Green Day, "Holiday"

2006-05-14T07:53:00.000-07:00

May 7-27, 2005

Billie Joe's lyrical stance is too poetically obtuse to satisfy as firebrand, but the big accomplishment with American Idiot was restoring his guitar to full volume, helping this track swing with more indignant authority than "London Calling" even if BJ's faux Brit connotations should be rejected on principle, and even if its appearance in a TV ad took a few months rather than a few decades. The swagger is just too superficially addictive.

Hear the dogs howling out of key
To a hymn called "Faith and Misery"
And bleed, the company lost the war today
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
On holiday

83. Sugar Ray, "Fly"

2006-05-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

August 2 - September 26, 1997

They took a bunch of great lines that had nothing to do with each other and slapped them onto a great track that had nothing to do with their sound: this track is experimental! When America gave it a thumbs up, they had the humility and gratitude to drop their obnoxious aggro and make reflective alternapop, something they were actually good at, their new mission. Much love, guys.

All around the world statues crumble for me
who knows how long I've loved you
everywhere I go people stop and they see
twenty-five years old my mother God rest her soul

84. Jet, "Cold Hard Bitch"

2006-05-14T07:36:00.000-07:00

May 8-28, 2004

Bon Scott b-side.

Cold hard bitch
Just a kiss on the lips
And I was on my knees
I'm waiting, give me
Cold hard bitch
She was shakin' her hips
That's all that I need

85. Lou Reed, "What's Good"

2006-05-12T07:29:00.000-07:00

February 8-28, 1992

A gets replaced by E minor because we're dealing with death rather than Sweet Jane. D and G hang around, though, to reaffirm that Lou & you are still alive.

Life's like Sanskrit read to a pony
I see you in my mind's eye strangling on your tongue
What good is knowing such devotion
I've been around - I know what makes things run

86. Linkin Park, "Numb"

2006-05-12T07:15:00.000-07:00

November 22, 2003 - February 13, 2004

I've yet to forgive Jay-Z for galumphing all over this tender, cathartic ode to breaking free from parental control. He could have at least learned the part about being caught in the undertow.

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

87. Papa Roach, "Last Resort"

2006-05-10T07:25:00.000-07:00

August 5-11 & August 19 - September 29, 2000

Yeah, it's not exactly "Crazy Train," but you have to understand that we're living with a Three Eleven mentality now.

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort, suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Would it be wrong, would it be right
If I took my life tonight, chances are that I might
Mutilation out of sight and I'm contemplating suicide

88. Morrissey, "Tomorrow"

2006-05-10T07:21:00.000-07:00

August 15 - October 5, 1992

Do you looove me? Do you loooove me? Do you loooove me? Now...that I...can glam? Glam? GLAM? Watch me now, oh!

Oh! The pain in my arms!
Oh! The pain in my legs!
Oh! My shiftless body.
Tommorrow,
It's surely nearer now.

89. Talking Heads, "Sax And Violins"

2006-05-10T07:19:00.000-07:00

February 1-7, 1992

"Drugs"-like atmospherics over rolling percussion, it's a patchwork epitaph made of '88 outtake material that actually works better than anything on True Stories or Naked save "Nothing But Flowers." Eerie and ethereal while percolating with energy, a surprise bit of futurism from a dead band.

They're searching for diamonds
They're grabbin' at straws
Sex 'n' sin
Sax 'n' violins
It's hell
Wooden heads
Furniture with legs
For sale

90. Psychedelic Furs, "House"

2006-05-10T07:11:00.000-07:00

January 20 - February 9, 1990

Using Lydon's signifying timbre to pimp platitudes over reverb-rock, which might be offensive if Lydon didn't wind up trying it himself. You could even say the Furs were simply entertaining "Public Image" fans while they waited out the avant-garde for "Rise." Mixing the vocal styles of Lydon and Bowie into something commercially appealing (hell, sufferable) is probably a lot harder than Richard Butler made it look.

the passing time is not my life
I've been counted down and shouted out
I had everything i wanted
nothing I can't rise above
to let it show was not my plan

91. B-52's, "Good Stuff"

2006-05-07T08:51:00.000-07:00

September 11 - August 7, 1992

With Fred and Kate flapping arms and rolling eyes to make up for Cindy's absence, it's not like the music needs a face anyhow.

The big dipper sure ain't big enough
To hold all of your dang good stuff
So let the people say we're down right nasty
I just say we're down right

92. Eve 6, "Inside Out"

2006-05-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

August 8-21, August 29th - September 4 & October 3-9, 1998

The first of two terrific late-90s hits to sound like Fugazi and use the phrase "put my tender heart in a blender." This one, with its rawer production, lyrical ambition and lack of Fred Durst, would probably appeal more to your true believers in rock'n'roll.

I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rhines
But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside
I would swallow my doubt
turn it inside out
find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender heart in a blender
Watch it spin around to a beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous then I’m through with you

93. R.E.M., "What's The Frequency, Kenneth?"

2006-05-07T08:36:00.000-07:00

September 24 - October 28, 1994

Don't bitch about the rhythm section! Not only was it thematically appropriate to lag behind the guitar pedals, Mike's appendix went kablooey during the final chorus! I don't he was recording the background vocals at the same time, though. Can't hear a "YEAARRRGGHH, MY APPENDIX!" anywhere.

I'd studied your cartoons, radio, music, TV, movies, magazines
Richard said, "Withdrawal in disgust is not the same as apathy"
A smile like the cartoon, tooth for a tooth
You said that irony was the shackles of youth
You wore a shirt of violent green, uh-huh
I never understood the frequency, uh-huh

94. Camper Van Beethoven, "Pictures Of Matchstick Men"

2006-05-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

October 21 - November 10, 1989

During an elementary school sleepover in Greeley, Colorado, me and my friends wandered past the video for this, immediately amused by the eye in the television and the cattle or whatever the hell oddball imagery they'd worked up. I missed the credits, leaving me with nothing but a haunting memory until my young adolescent alt-foraging in Bloomington, Indiana inspired me to check Key Lime Pie out of the library and I found myself wrapped in the melody again. Oh, my little underground! What gifts you bring to me! Soon after, I heard the Status Quo's original version in a soda ad, which should have been more humbling than it was.

When I look up to the skies
I see your eyes a funny kind of yellow
I rush home to bed I soak my head
I see your face underneath my pillow
I wake next morning, tired, still yawning
See your face come peeping through my window

95. Foo Fighters, "Best Of You"

2006-05-07T08:21:00.000-07:00

July 9 - August 26, 2005

Is he saying you have to be willing to give or is he telling you to keep an eye out for sexy vampires? Does he even know? Dave probably thinks if he could just hit the right dramatic pitch, a door would open and everything would make SENSE, dammit! When he pulls off the pomp this triumphantly, shaming the arrangement skills of his young Fuse airtime competitors, you almost wish God would strike him down so that he wouldn't fuck up his romantic life again and have to write another one.

Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You'd die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
Your trust, you must
Confess

96. U2, "Mysterious Ways"

2006-05-07T08:05:00.000-07:00

November 30, 1991 - January 31, 1992

It might be creepy that they have to pretend she's Jesus to get it up, but they do get it up.

To touch is to heal
To hurt is to steal
If you want to kiss the sky
Better learn how to kneel
On your knees, boy

97. Green Day, "J.A.R."

2006-05-03T10:51:00.000-07:00

August 26 - September 1, 1995

Compared to the emo hits of today, I feel really lucky that '90s punk bands weren't determined to shroud themselves in ridiculous poetry. Not so much for how it would have changed my adolescence (overwraughtness was a given either way), but for how much embarassment I'd feel in retrospect.

And I think it's alright
That I do what I like
Cause thats the way I wanna live
Its how I give
And I'm still giving

98. Incubus, "Drive"

2006-05-03T10:49:00.000-07:00

March 3 - April 27, 2001

It's a sunny day, and you're driving your customized Honda Civic. You're cognizant of your problems, your issues, but the sun's out and you feel unusually lucid and calm. It's a good time for one of those acoustic guitar/drum machine California ruminations complete with gratuitous DJ scratches. For a while, they were always on the radio when you needed them.

Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I cant help but ask myself how much I’ll let the fear take the wheel and steer
It’s driven me before, it seems to have a vague haunting mass appeal
Lately I’m beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel

99. Garbage, "#1 Crush"

2006-05-03T10:47:00.000-07:00

January 4-31, 1997

PJ Harvey for popists, originally available on the Romeo & Juliet soundtrack (the Maxinquaye for popists, who sure get to save a buck).

I will burn for you
Feel pain for you
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart
And tear it apart

100. Green Day, "American Idiot"

2006-05-03T10:45:00.000-07:00

September 25 - November 5, 2004

It still sounds fatalistic, and I still prefer "Walking Contradiction," but I do appreciate a multi-platinum rock band identifying with "faggot america" (let us never forget Pansy Division) and better they rewrite "Walking Contradiction" than "Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)."

Don't want to be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation under the new media.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mindfuck America.