"bunch of crazy white people... "

Every Billboard Modern Rock Chart #1 through 2005, listed in order of preference.  

133. Blind Melon, "No Rain"

September 18-24 & October 2-15, 1993

RIP, hippie.

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
ya don't like my point of view
ya think I'm insane
Its not sane......it's not sane.


134. Peter Gabriel, "Steam"

December 12 - January 15, 1992

Peter Gabriel put a gross, horn-festooned "Sledgehammer" retread about fucking atop the modern rock chart. THE MODERN ROCK CHART. Can anybody else his age say that? Steve Winwood wasn't arty enough to be modern rock (despite Peter being FUNKIER!), so haw haw, I don't think so.

Oh yeah, I need steam
Feel the steam around me
Ah you’re turning up the heat
When I start to dream aloud
’til you’re movin’ hands and feet
Won’t you step into this cloud of steam
This steam


135. Chevelle, "Send The Pain Below"

July 5-11, 2003

It's disappointing they felt the need to include a shrieky plod break near the end. It disrupts the grace of this psuedo-Deftones power ballad, interrupting the tragic submission with an artless, generic tantrum. It kills the romance and reminds us we're listening to Chevelle.

I liked having hurt,
So send the pain below, where I need it.
You used to beg me to take care of things,
And smile at the thought of me failing.


136. Lenny Kravitz, "Fly Away"

November 21 - December 4, 1998

When I think about moronic couplets like "Into the sky/fly so very high/like a dragonfly" or "Let's go and see the stars/the Milky Way/or even Mars," I feel like Axl Rose waiting to give the Pet Shop Boys a bouquet of roses. Sometimes if you fixate on something you hate long enough, you start to love it. Lenny's given us plenty of time to fixate. I'm fascinated by his minimalism, his "YEAH!" so aggressively facile.

I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah


137. Siouxsie & The Banshees, "Peek-A-Boo"

September 10-16 & 24-30, 1988

With all the backwards effects, breakbeats, winking sexuality and melodic appropriations, it's hard to believe Missy Elliott hasn't covered this yet.

She has many guises
She'll do what you want her to
Playing dead and sweet submission
Cracks the whip deadpan on cue
Peek-a-boo Peek-a-boo
Peek-a-boo Peek-a-boo


138. 311, "Love Song"

May 1-7, 2004

Great to make out to, assuming you find irony sexy.

However far away, I will always love you
However long I stay, I will always love you
Whatever words I say, I will always love you
I will always love you


139. Matchbox 20, "Push"

July 26 - August 1, 1997

When I have a cold, and all I want to do is whimper, curl into a lumpy ball and be held by some kind, half-forgotten woman from my past, Rob Thomas is my spirit animal.

Don't just stand there, say nice things to me
I've been cheated I've been wronged, and you
You don't know me, I can't change
I won't do anything at all


140. Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Can't Stop"

March 8 - 28, 2003

I was going to ask why more groups don't write mildly funky philosophical missives, what with these guys hurling so many to the top, but I should probably be grateful.

The world I love
The trains I hop
To be part of
The wave can't stop
Come and tell me when it's time to


141. Replacements, "Merry-Go-Round"

October 13-19 & November 3-23, 1990

This may be my sixth or seventh favorite song on All Shook Down, and this may be profound hookcraft only in the context of a midwest collegiate bar circuit, but it's not "Dyslexic Heart," dammit, and that has to count for something.

Hush was the first word you were taught
and they watched you wear
the clothes they claimed that they bought
they brought you down
to watch the merry-go around


142. Toad The Wet Sprocket, "Fall Down"

June 18 - July 29, 1994

If this kind of post-R.E.M. rock wasn't my native language, a relatively high energy level probably wouldn't be enough to make the track passively enjoyable. They lacked the weight of Matchbox 20, which is both a blessing and curse.

Jump back, got to get out of here
Been too long this time
Jump back, got to get out of here
When will we fall down


143. Tears For Fears, "Break It Down Again"

July 24 - August 13, 1993

Political synth-bombast for Guy Picciotto to sing.

"No sleep for dreaming" say the architects of life
Big bouncing babies, bread and butter can I have a slice
They make no mention of the beauty of decay
Blue, yellow, pink umbrella save it for a rainy day
And all the love and all the love in the world
Won't stop the rain from falling
Waste seeping underground
I want to break it down


144. Tracy Bonham, "Mother Mother"

June 8 - 28, 1996

The Bill Haley of her time.

I'm hungry
I'm dirty
I'm losing my mind
Everything's fine

I'm freezing
I'm starving
I'm bleeding to death
Everything's fine


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