"bunch of crazy white people... "

Every Billboard Modern Rock Chart #1 through 2005, listed in order of preference.  

193. Charlatans UK, "Weirdo"

June 23 - 29, 1991

Remember when every third single from England sounded like "Hush" by Deep Purple?

Look at your ugly shame
what are you talking for
look at your ugly shame
there’s too much for me to know about


194. Railway Children, "Every Beat Of The Heart"

September 8 - 14, 1990

The only band on this list I hadn't even heard of before looking at it. They sound like REM meets U2 meets New Order meets Simple Minds meets The Church meets Bruce Hornsby & The Range meets Glass Tiger. It's possible other songs in their catalog show more personality. But then I probably would have heard about it.

Every beat of the heart
brings me closer to the start
takes me further away from you
brings me closer to the truth


195. A Perfect Circle, "Weak & Powerless"

November 1 - 14, 2003

I thank God every day that I didn't have to listen to any Tool for this thing. If they have any singles that only last for three minutes, I haven't heard them.

Someone feed the monkey while I dig in search of China
White as Dracula as I approach the bottom

Desperate and Ravenous
I'm so weak and powerless over you


196. Silverchair, "Tomorrow"

September 2-22, 1995

A lot of songs on this list have been rendered cute by the gradual revelation of cultural harmlessness (it also helps that I'm no longer a teenager watching MTV all day and bitching about what I won't turn off). In Australia some people still pay attention to Daniel Johns, so I'll understand if folks down under can't share the amusement I get from this track today.

It's twelve o'clock, and it's a wonderful day.
I know you hate me, but I'll ask anyway.
Won't you come with me, to a place in a little town.
The only way to get there's to go straight down.
There's no bathroom, and there is no sink.
The water out of the tap is very hard to drink,
Very hard to drink.


197. Jane's Addiction, "Just Because"

August 2-8, 2003

I'd be more impressed with the "Mountain Song" heft on this track if "Mountain Song" heft was more of an exceptional feat.

When we first met
We passed around gifts
That was a long time ago
And yours didn''t fit

Yeah you, you really should have known
Yeah you, oh you really should have known
Just because


198. Electronic, "Get The Message"

June 22 - July 5, 1991

Frothy meets forgettable as Bernard Sumner and Johnny Marr unite.

"I don't know where to begin, living in sin
How can we talk? Look where you've been
I've counted the nights of living in sin
How can we talk? Look where we've been "


199. Ian McCulloch, "Proud To Fall"

November 11 - December 8, 1989

"My Way" for Angophilic fuckheads.

From start to finish
I was proud to fall
And I fell so deep within it
I got lost inside it all


200. Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Soul To Squeeze"

August 14 - September 10, 1993 & September 25 - October 1, 1993

Anthony Kiedis, poet and a prophet. Anthony Kiedis taught me how to off it.

I've got a bad disease.
Up from my brain is where I bleed.
Insanity, it seems,
has got me by my soul to squeeze.


201. Jesus Jones, "Right Here, Right Now"

February 9 - March 15, 1991

People act smug about Germans digging David Hasselhoff when the wall fell. They really shouldn't.

I was alive and I waited, waited
I was alive and I waited for this
Right here, right now
there is no other place I want to be
Right here, right now
watching the world wake up from history


202. Pearl Jam, "Who You Are"

September 7-13, 1996

A smiling message from the Maharishi and one of the cuter shark-jumps on record.

Stoplight plays it’s part
So I will say, you’ve got a heart
What’s your part
Who you are
You are who
Who you are


203. Midnight Oil, "Forgotten Years"

May 19 - June 1, 1990

These guys are at their most tolerable when they give their corniness an appropriate and spirited context. In this case, yearbook quotes.

The hardest years, the darkest years,
Forsaking, aching, breaking years
The time 'n' tested heartbreak years
These should not be forgotten years


204. Kate Bush, "Love And Anger"

December 9 - 29, 1989

I'd probably like this song more if I saw the video. Kate Bush songs always make more sense once I've seen the accompanying choreography.

Take away the love and the anger,
And a little piece of hope holding us together.
Looking for a moment that'll never happen,
Living in the gap between past and future.
Take away the stone and the timber,
And a little piece of rope won't hold it together.


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